AI 批改面板

批改统计

总分 85/100
语法准确性 22/25
词汇丰富度 18/20
结构连贯性 20/25
内容完整性 25/30

问题分类

总体建议

1. 文章结构清晰,但部分段落之间的过渡可以更自然。

2. 词汇使用较为丰富,但个别词汇选择不够准确。

3. 语法基本正确,但需要注意时态一致性问题。

英语写作作业批改

提交时间: 2023-11-15 14:30 | 字数: 256

题目要求

请以"My Ideal Career"为题,写一篇不少于200词的英语短文,描述你理想中的职业,包括职业特点、选择原因以及未来规划等内容。

学生作业

My Ideal Career

My ideal job is to become a software engineer建议改为: software developer (更常用). I am passionate about programming and problem-solving. In the future, I want to work for a leading technology company where I can contribute to innovative projects. This career path aligns perfectly with my skills and interests优秀表达: 句式丰富,表达清晰.

I believe this career will allow me to continuously learn and grow. Technology is always evolving, and there are always new challenges to tackle. I enjoy work in team environments语法错误: work → working (动名词作宾语) and collaborating with others to create solutions. Working in a team can help me learn from others建议: 可以补充具体的学习内容,如"learn new techniques and approaches".

Additionally, being a software engineer offers good career prospects and opportunities for advancement. Many companies are looking for skilled developers, and the demand continues to grow. According to statistics, the employment of software developers is projected to grow 22 percent from 2020 to 2030, much faster than the average for all occupations引用需要注明具体来源.

To prepare for this career, I am currently majoring in computer science and participating in various coding competitions优秀表达: 具体说明了准备措施. I also plan to do internships to gain practical experience建议: 可以补充具体的实习目标,如"in renowned tech companies". My ultimate goal is to become a senior developer and lead my own team in creating impactful software products.

批改详情

语法错误 (3处)

1. "work in team environments" → "working in team environments" (动名词作宾语)

2. "According to statistics..." 需要注明具体数据来源

3. "software engineer" 在此上下文中建议使用更通用的 "software developer"

表达建议 (5处)

1. "Working in a team can help me learn from others" 可以补充具体的学习内容

2. "I also plan to do internships" 可以补充具体的实习目标公司

3. 可以增加一些具体的技术领域兴趣,如AI、Web开发等

4. 第二段可以增加团队合作的具体好处

5. 结尾可以增加对未来职业影响的展望

优秀表达 (8处)

1. "This career path aligns perfectly with my skills and interests" - 表达准确

2. "Technology is always evolving" - 简洁有力

3. "To prepare for this career..." - 具体说明了准备措施

4. 文章结构清晰,段落分明

5. 词汇使用较为丰富多样

6. 职业规划具体明确

7. 开头直接点题,不拖沓

8. 结尾有明确的职业目标

修改建议版本

My Ideal Career

My ideal job is to become a software developer. I am passionate about programming and problem-solving, especially in the fields of artificial intelligence and web development. In the future, I want to work for a leading technology company where I can contribute to innovative projects. This career path aligns perfectly with my skills and interests.

I believe this career will allow me to continuously learn and grow. Technology is always evolving, and there are always new challenges to tackle. I enjoy working in team environments and collaborating with others to create solutions. Working in a team can help me learn new techniques and approaches from experienced colleagues, while also improving my communication and collaboration skills.

Additionally, being a software developer offers good career prospects and opportunities for advancement. Many companies are looking for skilled developers, and the demand continues to grow. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the employment of software developers is projected to grow 22 percent from 2020 to 2030, much faster than the average for all occupations.

To prepare for this career, I am currently majoring in computer science and participating in various coding competitions. I also plan to do internships in renowned tech companies like Google and Microsoft to gain practical experience. My ultimate goal is to become a senior developer and lead my own team in creating impactful software products that can make people's lives easier and more enjoyable.